A Guys’ Guide to Dates

I found this to be hilarious!! I got this as an email forward today!! Some of it is so true ;-)!

First date: Meet her parents.
Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
Third date: Wedding night.

First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out a bit.
Third date: You get to have sex but only in the missionary position.

First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti & meatballs.
Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you & insists on a 3carat ring.
5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of having sex.
6th Anniversary: You find yourself a Mistress.

First Date: You get terrific head.
Second Date: You get even more great head.
Third Date: You tell her you’ll marry her and never get head again.

First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again.
Third date: You don’t even get to the third date and you’ve already realized nothing is ever going to happen.

First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.
Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date: She’s pregnant by someone other than you.

First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, sex in the back of her car.
Second Date: She’s pregnant.
Third Date: She moves in. One week later, her mother, father, his girlfriend, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her father’s girlfriend’s mother, her two cousins, her sister’s Boyfriendand his three kids move in and you live on rice and beans fo rthe rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks likea home along the Tijuana strip.

First Date: Mother, Father, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Friends and entire Arab community finds out.
Second Date: You are shot dead.
No third date.

9 thoughts on “A Guys’ Guide to Dates

  1. Hehehe, although it’s a crappy rebuttal, Irish can be dusky if an erstwhile Indian woman gets Irish citizenship!! Just kidding buddy!! Hehehe!!

    One more round for the Jewish women ;-)!

  2. lol..yea, i got this mail too.

    I’ll take 1 white woman, 1 irish woman, and 1 jewish. 🙂
    And i’ll have all of them at d same time after my 1st date in the Arab woman’s house.
    And then i act dead.
    Oh yeah..before all that, i’ll go for atleast 2 dates with the Italian gal, i can’t miss those spaghetti n meatballs. No wait, only if the Italian gal is a true tifosi. Else take her with me to the Arab’s woman’s house.

  3. Asshole…..
    lol..yea i didnt think of it that way, but yea! whaadahell!
    i’ll go for her spaghetti and meatballs too!!
    Panguji can pay for me and have the 3-carat ring too! 😉

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