This is hilarious!! ROFLMAO!!
*Email forward!!
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet,” which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas’ pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident…. Enjoy!
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what they’re for.P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.And the best one for last………………
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
oh my god! i almost fell back laughing!! hilarious stuff!
great to know youre moving to the fatherland soon dude! all the best ..and yea will be looking forward to some great blogging from your side.
as for me, im getting used to this whole new life! i have a feeling that i may actually end up liking it! ha!
cheers
hey btw the pics on ur flickr are simply awesome!
@ PS: Thanks man!! :-)!
Yeah, the MNC life is awesome dude!! Enjoy it till it lasts :-)!!
heh, yeah funny fwd.
but it certainly aint airline pilots im sure. IFF is only for figther pilots
@sukhi: Dude. IFF, standing for Identify Friend of Foe is NOT limited to the military. It’s basically a radio based identitification system. Certain modes are limited to military use for obvious purposes. In the civilian airline industry, it provides an octal code describing the aircraft, essentially airline, flight number blah.
Just FYI!! :-D!!
Yeah even I had thought IFF was only for fighter pilots, during my combat flight sim days, but then it’s different, when I shifted to some normal flight sims. :-D!!