# Outside the card and inside it...

- Author: @gurupanguji
- Date: 2007-02-23
- URL: https://gurupanguji.com/blog/2007/02/23/outside-the-card-and-inside-it/
- Categories: essay

---


<blockquote><b>1. I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you've come into my life... </b><br />(Inside card)&nbsp;&nbsp; - I've changed my mind.<br /><br /><br /><b>2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life...</b><br />(Inside card)&nbsp;&nbsp; - I never believed in Hell until I met you.&nbsp;&nbsp; <br /><br /><br /><b>3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am....</b><br />(Inside card) -&nbsp;&nbsp; That you're not here to ruin it for me ... <br /><br /><br /><b>4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go....&nbsp;&nbsp; </b><br />(Inside card) -&nbsp;&nbsp; Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again.&nbsp;&nbsp; <br /><br /><br /><b>5. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age....</b><br />(Inside card) -&nbsp;&nbsp; Almost lifelike!&nbsp;&nbsp; <br /><br /><br /><b>6. When we were together, you said you'd die for me...</b><br />(Inside card) -&nbsp;&nbsp; Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise.&nbsp;&nbsp; <br /><br /><br /><b>7. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy....&nbsp;&nbsp; </b><br />(Inside card) -&nbsp;&nbsp; Did you ever find out who the father was?&nbsp;&nbsp; <br /><br /><br /><b>8. You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and&nbsp;&nbsp; there was only one life jacket...</b><br />(Inside card)&nbsp;&nbsp; - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often .. <br /><br /><br /><b>9. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday...</b><br />(Inside card)&nbsp;&nbsp; - So we're having you put to sleep.&nbsp;&nbsp; <br /><br /><br /><b>10. Looking back over the years that we have been together, I can't help but wonder.....</b><br />(Inside card) -&nbsp;&nbsp; What the&nbsp;&nbsp; hell&nbsp;&nbsp; was I thinking&nbsp;&nbsp; <br /><br /><br /><b>11. I'm so miserable without you...</b><br />(Inside card) -&nbsp;&nbsp; It's almost like you're still here.&nbsp;&nbsp; <br /><br /><br /><b>12. Thank you for being part of my life.....</b><br />(Inside card) -&nbsp;&nbsp; I never knew what evil was until I met you!&nbsp;&nbsp; <br /><br /><br /><b>13. Congratulations on your wedding day!</b><br />(Inside card) -&nbsp;&nbsp; Too bad no one likes your husband.&nbsp;&nbsp; <br /><br /><br /><b>14. How can I say this....</b><br />(Inside card) -&nbsp;&nbsp; Your cooking kills me&nbsp;&nbsp; <br /><br /><br /><b>15. Hooray.....</b><br />(Inside card) -&nbsp;&nbsp; You're divorced.&nbsp;&nbsp; <br /><br /><br /><b>16. I just want you to know that I'm sorry for what happened...</b><br />(Inside card) -&nbsp;&nbsp; Especially since you survived.&nbsp;&nbsp; <br /><br /><br /><b>17. Congrats on getting married...</b><br />(Inside card) -&nbsp;&nbsp; It's not everyday you decide to ruin your life.&nbsp;&nbsp; <br /><br /><br /><b>18. Someday I hope to marry...</b><br />(inside card) -&nbsp;&nbsp; Someone other than you. <br /><br /><br /><b>19. We have been friends for a very long time...</b><br />(inside card) -&nbsp;&nbsp; What do you say we stop? <br /></blockquote>