Recently, I mulled about how the lack of worry is a wonderful state to be in.
It led to another thought.
There are times at work where I am fascinated by the problem. I am researching hard, trying different things. Some end up in failures. Yet, I stay resilient. I get back on the grind to give it another go.
Then there are times where I have to write just one document.
Yet, every part of my body goes on strike I am reticent to participate. Even a minor bottleneck becomes an excuse to stop. To give up. In today's world I am one swipe away from wasting my time.
The difference is visceral.
One doesn't feel like work even when I exert all of my energy. Heck, sometimes I even garner energy I never thought I had. The other is energy draining, depleting my battery with every small step I need to take. A tax.
One feels energizing!. The other feels exhausting!
One is hard work. The other is working hard.
This somehow feels like yet another thing I've learned as an adult.
As a kid, my work wasn't work. It was play and playing never felt hard.
It was fun. It was light. It was learning with every mistake. We didn't label mistakes - they were just part of the game. It was an eager zest for life and action.
There was no judgement. There was no optimization. There was no lifemaxxing. There was just life.
I am fortunate where work has felt like play.
Yet it is today that I can articulate what I am chasing. It is not a career. It is not money. It is not fame. It is not accolades.
I am looking for ways to play in real life.