🔗 Why leaders often disappoint us

There’s an old saying about not meeting your heroes. In practice, leaders tend to confirm this over time. This is true across domains, and it’s rarely a single gaffe that does it. The interesting question is why the disappointment usually takes the same shape.

Disappointment does not always show up in the form of a bad conversation. Often there isn’t any conversation at all, at least not in the way people imagine one. As space disappears, interaction collapses into reaction. Responses come faster, positions are stated rather than tested, and dialogue gives way to declaration. At a certain distance, leadership becomes parasocial by default, taking the form of broadcast. There is nothing to push back on, only things to react to. By the time the gaffe happens, the system has already collapsed.

Why leaders often disappoint us · Ariadne's Space

This was a dense read. However, if you take the time to read and process, I guarantee you that you are going to learn something important for your career - be that of a worker or be that of a leader.

Harmonious integration is the most overlooked trait that good leaders can provide. The stability and safety of being able to be who you are and contribute to the shared cause is a delightful environment. This is something that I've learned time and time again. The garden metaphor is my go to for leadership. It rings true here as well.