I feel like I’ve aged five years in the past 12 months.

Don’t get me wrong, old age is going well for me, and I want to live a long time. I want to squeeze every last drop of juice from the orange, whether it’s at home or in an ICU. I’m positive about old age. But still . . .

Eighty-one is carrying a backpack of rocks up the stairs. Eighty-one is seeing a stranger in the mirror. Eighty-one is being unable to run for your connecting flight at the Airport. Eighty-one is being all dressed up with nowhere to go, or somewhere to go with nothing to wear.

“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”

Old age is just one damn thing after another, and it will never get better — but have hope — our perception of old age can get better. We will have pain in old age, but to quote Haruki Murakami: “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”

Source: So You Want To Live To Be 81?

Lovely little discovery. The motto is something everyone can adopt to make their life better. I was talking to a dear friend yesterday on how both he and I are far too serious about life. However, that seriousness is a mask for fear. We are almost afraid of life, of not being enough. We ended up admiring dear friends and barely known acquaintances who are comfortable in their skin - accepting who they are, loving who they are and then setting the world to accept them rather than changing themselves to accept the world.

To me, this is very similar in vein.

I think that people who are comfortable with who they are, who accept and celebrate their fortes and foibles, are the ones who have the presence of mind, the cycles available in their senses to observe the humor around them.

I aspire to do more of this.

The way I am approaching this is to state my truth more often. I grew up with a need to please others. I outsourced my worth to others. The first step was to remove that at work. The next step is to remove that from life - from friends and family.

It’s not easy to remove 40 years of habit.

However, I am making progress. And part of the progress is that I am also able to appreciate the humor in life.

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.